~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How many times have you met someone new, perhaps as a networking event or when out with friends, and the time comes to exchange cards or even promotional material and you find yourself apologising for your business card even before you've handed it over? Or you ask someone about their work or an area of their life and the underlying subtext seems to be one of embarrassment or apology?
How does it feel to be on the receiving end?
It's a tendency I've noticed in myself in the past, particularly if my new business cards have been at the printers or I had some grand scheme for marketing material and had to settle for something that I felt didn't quite hit the mark.
The impression it gives doesn't do any of us any favours, and I know you can appreciate the impact it has on our self esteem if we find we get trapped in a constant mantra of excuses and apology in our own self-talk.
We are all striving in our own ways. We all have expectations of ourselves and might feel that perhaps we don't always measure up. There is no benefit to you of wearing your self-doubt and your (perceived) shortcomings on the outside. Let yourself off the hook, release the pressure.
Honour yourself, recognise your current value, in this present moment. You may not have fulfilled your greatest aspirations - yet, but who you are now is worthy of recognition and respect.
You owe it to yourself and the person who has taken the time to connect with you to put out your best light. After all, you attracted them, there is something within you, right now, of value.
If you ever need reminding, just think of a few of your dearest and most treasured friends. Are they, in your view, good people who have something to offer the world? Like attracts like, they are around you for a reason. Could it perhaps be because you too are a high calibre person with a very unique and powerful gift?
All that said, in business it can be tricky to project a certain image if you are genuinely concerned that your services or products or website or collateral don't stack up. So perhaps it may help, if you find yourself in this place as I too often do, to change your criteria for that internal benchmarking. Remind yourself of your personal qualities that make you good at what you do.
You also have the choice to take practical action to address those things that you're currently a little embarrassed about. This is true not only in business but it extends to our personal lives as well.
For example so many people I meet experience my shared perpetual battle to keep my home presentable and are constantly in "excuse the mess" mode. Well, we have a choice, get a cleaner, make it a higher priority to do the housework or let it go!
Another common favourite of mine occurs when having over friends for dinner.
As I'm serving up the roast, before I've even got the plates on the table the words are already out of my mouth about how underdone the spuds are or how the broccoli has gone a bit soggy. Not the best presentation of a meal I've just spent 2 hours slaving over! Imagine if your friendly local restaurant waiter prefaced every course with a list of the chef’s shortcomings and excuses about the state of the kitchen!
How lovely would it be if you could revel in your creative work? How honoured would your friends feel if instead, their meal was presented with a smile and the words "I did the spuds just how you like them darling!"
If you find yourself being other than wholly positive and affirmative about who you are and what you have to offer, please accept this as a humble reminder.
Make no apology - you are worth more than that.
With love and respect
Elizabeth
Comments