Elizabeth's For the Love of Life Blog

"Let us be ourselves" a call to action by Edward Bach

My offering from today is in fact a writing from Dr Edward Bach (1886-1936) a pioneer in medical research and the man who discovered flower remedies and who continues to be an inspiration. It is taken from the book "The collected writings of Edward Bach" a delightful, insightful and inspiring read.

 

Whatever your religious or spiritual persuasion I'm sure you'll agree they are wise and inspiring words for us all.

 

 

"Let us be ourselves" a call to action by Edward Bach written 1st January 1935

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"Has it ever occured to you that God gave you an individuality? Yet he certainly did. He gave you a personality of your very own, a treasure to be kept to your very own self. He gave you a life to lead, which you and only you should lead: He gave you work to do, which you and only you can do: He placed you in this world, a Divine being, a child of Himself, to learn how to become perfect, to gain all knowledge possible, to grow gentle and kind, and to be a help to others.

 

And has it ever occurred to you how God speaks to you, and tells you of your own individuality, and of your very own work, of how to steer your ship true to its own course? He speaks to you through your own real desires which are the instincts of your Soul. How else could He speak?

 

If we but listen to and obey our own desires, uninfluenced by any other personality, we shall always be led aright; we shall always be guided, not only along the path which will lead us to our own advancement and perfection, but also to make our lives the uttermost useful and helpful to others.

 

It is being influenced by the desires of others that takes us from our own work and wastes our time. Christ would never have fulfilled His mission had He listened to the persuasion of His parents,, and we should have lost an army of world-helpers such as florence Nightingale and a host of others, had they yeilded to the wishes of others and not remained true to their own heart's desires.

 

What better resolution in the coming of the New Year can we make than to listen to our own desires which are messengers from our Souls, and to have the courage to obey them?"

 

Bach, E (1935) cited in Collected Writings of Edward Bach, Edited by Julian Barnard pg 21.

If all we are left with...

I don't know about you but I for one am becoming a little frustrated with all the constant talk of doom and gloom around at the moment. Yes the economic climate may not be a robust as we'd like and the housing market is affected and there is the potential, they say for widespread unemployment and harder times. It's all to easy I suppose to say don't believe the hype, perhaps there really is no smoke without fire, but for me times like these are significant and hold great promise and opportunity. There are always phases and cycles in life, it's part of the human experience and serves to remind us that there is a flow and rhythm of sorts nothing is static. Everything grows and everything falls away, just look at the seasons, it is how it is intended to be.
Thankfully I'm very blessed to say that business is booming and I have been pondering on why that might be.

Perhaps it's because these times issue a call.

A call for us all to be even more present and powerful in how we live the everyday.

A call for each of us to recognise that lifes blessings can be in the little things.

A call to cherish and ensure that the time we are spending is that of quality where we can truly honour ourselves.

 

Financial crisis can take us back to basics, I don't just mean back to student days of beans on toast, but the fundamentals of what is really important. Perhaps in remembering that and capturing some of the magic of it I've been able for the most part to shield us from the storm. (fingers crossed long may it continue :o))

 

So today my brief offering is a simple reminder to listen to your hearts calling amid the chaos, to keep you head (and heart) while all those about you are loosing theirs. Take this as the perfect opportunity it is to reconnect with what is truly valuable in our lives.

As I write this it prompts me to think back to Saturday evening, a humble evening spent with friends and family. Mike and the boys took time to do what they love, make music. My cousin and I cooked and talked and laughed and reminisced.

 

As we all sat together ate humble fare, by the glow of candlelight and toasted to love, I had a true appreciation of just how blessed we are.

 

Because when everything else is stripped away, if all we are left with is the love and companionship of our friends, then we are indeed truly blessed and all is well, very well indeed.

Do you have a bath tub?

I did something very unusual today. Right in the middle of my working day, I took a bath.
That's not to say bathing itself is unusual for me - heaven forbid, it's just that it rarely happens smack in the middle of a busy day with a long to do list and a stack of emails to get through.
In case you're thinking i've gone mad, there is a reason for me sharing this insight into my daily ablutions. If you'll stick with me i'll explain.
 
I was busy. Busy preparing for a meeting I have later with a dear friend and colleague. The purpose of our meeting is mutual coaching, on goals, visions, priorities and the like.
In the preparation which involved;
mind mapping my business, my offerings, my target clients, my current commitments, my aspirations, plans for future collaborations interspersed with writing notes for my next workshop, next speaking engagement, newsletter and networking event, I became very aware of an all too familiar feeling.
 
The sensations I experienced you may recognise:
A tension in my body, particularly in my neck and shoulders,
a buzzing in my head and the niggling of a headache,
clouded scattered thoughts,
a body posture of forced concentration, brow in hand scribbling furiously,
niggling thoughts of pressures, worries,
the need to do something, anything, to proactively bring about these goals and tackle the mounting to do list.
 
Perhaps I'd noticed the change of state as it was so markedly different from the space i've been in the last few weeks. Despite a packed diary, I had enjoyed the lightness of a serene mind, the joy of doing what I love and the blissful peace of going with the flow, trusting that all is as it should be.
 
Thankfully, having noticed the change, by some small miracle, I had the presence of mind to stop.
I had been consumed by the overwhelming need to control these outcomes I had set for myself.
To succeed to achieve to fulfil and fill full. The slight panic of "not enough time to get it all done" signalled the immediate need to surrender and release.
To let go of the expectations, let go of the pressure I had put on myself, let go of the busy-ness, let go of the grasping for clarity and change.
 
To worry about how we will accomplish our desires is not the best use of our vital energy i'm sure you'll agree. It is not the pursuit of an empowered child of the universe living in harmony and flow.
None the less, to surrender and let go is often easier said than done.
 
The manifestations of not letting go are often those I've already described;
physical tension
spiralling thoughts
worry
self doubt, even panic.
Other symptoms can show up in our experiences too;
relationships that we desperately "need" falter and crumble,
the prospective client that we have been vehemently chasing eludes us,
perhaps even the bank balance starts reflecting our deepest fears.

All of these, valuable signals. Having spotted them creeping in myself, the short term remedy was a deep warm bubbly bath. The essential oils gradually easing away muscle tension, my thoughts lightened by blowing bubbles, my mind cleared by the repeated mantra spoken aloud
"all is well
all is well
all is well"
 
Following my brief but highly effective soak in the tub, I had the realisation that perhaps I had unwittingly perpetuated the state of busy-ness I am so opposed to by the topic of my last newsletter and the title of my Vitality in Action workshop.
I do passionately feel that there is a need for those of us stuck in a rut and skimming the surface of their potential to rise to life's challenges with more than we currently muster.
 
Perhaps then, in light of the fact that we are human beings and not human doings, a mere renaming is called for.
Bathtub inspired Vitality in Action is born again, with a new name to hopefully better reflect it's essence. Do see below for more details if you're interested.
 
If you have been patient enough to get this far, thank you. You may still have a niggling question of "what's the point of this little discourse?"
 
It is merely this. A simple reminder, if you should need it, to let go.

Release yourself from concerns of what the future will bring. Enjoy the opportunities and inspiration that are attracted to you when in a state of Peace of mind and body.

Trust, let go, be free. Your needs will not only be met, but those things beyond your wildest imaginings will be yours.

Allow yourself space to withdraw from the pressure and the Universe will supply you with what you need, when you need it, as she always does.
Relax, take a bath, all is well.

Raise your game and reap the benefits

The last couple of weeks has been an exciting, and testing time, in the Cairns household. Mike's school has had the Ofsted inspectors in!

They were given the news of their arrival last Friday and told inspections would take place this Wednesday, not much notice to make sure everything is running as it should be. Any teachers among you will appreciate the fear of impending doom that news of this sort often brings, surprisingly not so for the faculty team at Mike's school. Rather, an incredible magic manifested which prompts todays' newsletter.
 
More on our subject of 'Raising your game' later, but first:
A very warm welcome to our new subscribers and a big hello to long time pals who haven't heard from me in a while.
 
September has been an incredible month for us so far, with a thoroughly enjoyable and productive blend of teaching, coaching, team building, prefect training, speaking engagements and networking. Our Vitality workshops, netwalks and training sessions are back in full swing after the summer break, more details below.
 
For now I'll sign off and leave you with today's offering for those of you you might be inspired to raise your game.

Raise your game and reap the benefits! 
 
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Have you ever had the overwhelming feeling that you couldn't do something, that it was beyond you but then decided, perhaps against the odds, to to it anyway and, by some small miracle, actually succeeded? If so you will have an idea of the magic that happens when you choose to raise your game. 
 
What is raising your game?
Carpe Diem
Going for it
Unleashing your potential
Doing what you're really capable of
Going the extra mile
Stepping up
All these things and more. It's the conscious choice, and powerful act, of being who you truly are, in a situation that demands more of you than the simple every day. 
 
The effects of raising your game:
As Mike has so powerfully experienced in this last week, the benefits of making a choice to raise your game, whether individually or as part of a team are far reaching.
 
Challenge is essential to growth. It is human nature to want to strive to be shaped and defined by our experience.  Studies of biology and neurology show us clearly how our brains and bodies positively responds to stretch of this kind.
 
Part of raising your game means fully living into the skills and talents that you have and using them to their fullest potential. The creativity, focus and flexibility required can be incredibly enjoyable and fulfilling. Certainly for Mike this week, i'ts been thoroughly enjoyable to have had lessons where he is getting even more from himself and from his pupils.
 
It's not always necessary to see the immediate results of your efforts on the end goal, but rather the action of stepping up to the plate can be hugely rewarding in itself. Pushing yourself to achieve, with a clear focus, starts a wave of momentum that builds. The increased motivation that results can dramatically improve productivity. The natural progressions of setting and expecting higher standards changes the nature of the game.
 
The action of raising your game causes events, and others, to respond in powerful ways and often affords you the ability to see possibilities that before didn't seem to exist. You only have to look at the success stories of some of the worlds great entrepreneurs to see this in action, not to mention heroes of past and present in the fields of medicine, diplomacy, science and others.
 
When the choice is made by a whole team with inspired leadership the yield is multiplied. Increased team spirit and cohesion further improves performance and deepens levels of trust, expectation and positivity.
 
Catalysts to raising your game:
External pressure. In the example of Mikes school, Ofsted provided a spark to ignite the passion for performance within the team.
You may well find that you respond well to outside influences. Seeing how others have excelled can also provide valuable fuel to the fire. The current pressure you may be feeling due to the shifting economic climate could be seen, with the right perspective, as pure rocket fuel!
 
A major set back,  coupled with the desire to rise every time we fall and out perform previous attempts is catalyst for some of us. To do that which you think you cannot, builds personal character like very little else.
 
Internal desire. Perhaps a more positive instigator, is a compelling and clearly defined vision. If you are someone guided by your own instincts, measuring your success on the level of your personal satisfaction and fulfillment, this can be the most powerful key.
 
Practical steps to raising your game:
There are many possible approaches, here's one that you can work with quickly and simply for a motivational boost.
 
Consider an area of your life that's important to you at the moment.
Your work, your relationship with your family and friends, your life in the community or social group, your health, your finances, whatever springs to mind.
 
Let's take a leaf out of Stephen Covey's book (The Seven Habits to be precise) and begin with the end in mind.
Imagine it's a few years hence. You are asked by someone you respect about that important part of your life. They are curious to hear the events and, with eager willingness, you are happy to share it with them.
What would you like to be able to tell them?
What accomplishments would you be most proud of?
What is the feeling you would most like to have about it?
What's the legacy that you would like to leave?
 
From this simple dip into the future you will now have a clearer idea of your driving values in relation to that part of your life. These are the things towards which you are guided and hint at your potential. 
 
Orientate yourself towards an outcome
With these in mind, give yourself a clear goal for the next days, few weeks or months. Something that moves you towards the fulfillment of those things that you have identified as being important in this area of your life. You may have already begun with a specific goal in mind, if so;
 
Assess your current strategy
Look at all the ways you are currently working towards your goal.
Consider your actions, your mindset, your network, your skills, talents and other resources. Determine how much time and how much energy you are currently expending, particularly on those things that are not in the direction of what you truly desire. Make a brief note of your thoughts.
Be sure to list those things that are currently working for you.
 
Identify the key skills and talents you have, and those that are required to achieve success in your goal. Make a simple list of all those you can think of.
 
Ask yourself, 'if I was fully utilising my skills and talents, what would be different, about my approach, my choices, my attitude and my results?'
If you were already the person that you will become what would be different?
 
Set yourself a challenge. Not simply to achieve a goal, but to excel beyond current imaginings. What would be the hallmarks of true expertise/genius/creativity/compassion/success? Choose whatever criteria works for you.
 
Give yourself a taste of what it would be like. Imagine, in full technicolour detail, living a life more motivated, more inspired, more passionate and more dedicated to succeed in your chosen goal.
 
Make a conscious choice. Knowing the rewards it will bring you and those around you, decide, consciously that you are worth the effort. Once we have truly made a decision great power is unleashed and the impossible becomes achievable.
 
Recognise your current worth. You already have the resources to achieve and live life in this way. If you've been feeling demotivated up until now, its likely that you have allowed yourself, or been pressured into, sitting back and not applying your skills to their full potential. That can change in this moment, if you make the choice.
 
Realise that you have a responsibility, to be the very best that you can be. To inspire others by your example, to fulfill your commitments not just to others, but to yourself. Great things happen when people are moved to step up. Who knows what you can bring to the world just by raising your game a little!
 
Take action - of course, this is the true hallmark of someone who has raised their game. They take new, quick, inspired and relevant action in direct pursuit of their ultimate aim.

In this one humble moment, you can begin!

Have you ever gone to a "life changing" seminar or event where you were sure, and maybe even promised, that things would start to be different from this moment on, only to find that you leave and come back to everyday life with a bit of a disappointed bump?
 
If this sounds familiar or your sitting at your PC reading this feeling like it's been a bit of a hum drum day or a non too thrilling week and when oh when is the fantasy so clearly depicted in my vision board going to finally manifest?!
 
I've got wonderful news. 
 
You don't have to wait until you see the next guru, read the next self help book, do a fire walk, climb a mountain or, dare I say this, make the next appointment with your life coach, to start living more in line with your hearts true desire.
 
Consider this moment, this humble moment (when perhaps you decided to procrastinate just a little longer on work by reading my newsletter) as one where things really can change. In this moment -  now - because after all it's really the only moment that counts, you can choose a new beginning. Here's one way:
 
Consider what you have planned this afternoon.
 
When you think about it how do you feel?
Hopefully if you were paying attention to my last newsletter you're already increasing your ability to tune into your body wisdom.
 
Does the prospect of the afternoons plans feel good? More specifically does it feel heavy or light? Is there a tightness in your body or a lightness in your heart? 
 Light/free/bliss? Great - have a good afternoon and a great weekend.
Not so light? Perhaps slight boredom, heaviness or even dread?  Then read on:
 

If you could suspend the pressure of the impending to do list for a moment and just imagine that it were possible for you to do something a little different for your next few hours.
 
What might be some of the things you might like to do?
 
Think of them now - yes right now, no time like the present.
Keep it simple and manageable and something that doesn't require an immediate personality transplant. Got a few ideas? Great.
 

Now all you need to do is pick one and do it! Yep it's that simple just allow yourself temporarily to step outside of your "have to do this" mindset and your everyday life and do it.
 

Hey it's Friday so what the heck!
 

Have a good weekend, go on I dare you!

Fear not my friend...

Remember all things which happen,

to you are raw materials.

Endlessley fertile

Endlessly yielding of thoughts tht could change

Your life and go on doing forever...

So fear not, my friend.

The darkness is gentler than you think.

Ben Okri - Poet

Is this the right choice for me?

I often work with people who have an idea about doing something new, but aren't sure if it's right for them.

Over the years of working in personal and professional development I've noticed patterns of common indicators that tell me when someone has touched on something that will help them move into their flow and realise more of their true potential.

Firstly it's worth noting that the person who is best positioned to know exactly where you are meant to be and in which direction you are meant to be moving is you. You have all the wisdom and clarity within your own body and mind that you need. If you're feeling stuck at the moment and thinking "who's she kidding?", I guarantee you its true. Sometimes we are just really good at misinterpreting the signals or even missing them all together.

The role of a good coach, in my view, is to facilitate you to reconnect with that innate wisdom, re-orientate yourself and tap into your great potential. This ultimately enables you to empower yourself with the awareness necessary to trust your inner guiding power.

If you are considering making a significant change or even a smaller decision, then there are a few simple things that may help you determine whether it's a move in the "right" direction for you. Let's use the example of a career change.

1) For love not money.

If you didn't have to worry about money, is this new career something that you would be prepared to do for little or no money? (If the answer is yes, it's a good sign.)

2) Feel the fear.

Do you experience large amounts of resistance when considering making the change? Resistance is usually experienced as some kind of fear and can often be in the form of limiting beliefs like "I'm not good enough; I don't know enough, why would people want to work with me?" It can also present itself as persistent procrastination! Resistance is a key signal, it tells you you've hit on something important to you. (It's worth noting that it doesn't mean it's not right if you have no resistance at all.)

3) Love sick or sick and tired?

When making a choice (and this works for anything, e.g. choosing a new colour for your walls), pay attention first to what your body is telling you about the options. When you consider the new career what happens? Do you notice any increased tension, do you feel repulsed, even slightly? For me personally the "it's not right" feeling comes with a tightening in the muscles of my neck and jaw, a clenching around my throat and a feeling of being pulled back, it's wholly unpleasant. Very different in nature from the "go for it" feeling, which is a bit like butterflies in my stomach and a queasy feeling, which can often be mistaken for a not good feeling, but there are key differences. Your own signals are what are important here, pay attention to what your body is telling you and trust it. You may find it help to compare it against known "good" and "bad" responses like someone you love versus a food that repulses you or a not too happy memory.

4) Caged animal or free as a bird?

Does it raise your energy when you think about it? If you feel feelings of liberation, joy and increased energy, they are key signals. You're unlikely to be heading in a fulfilling direction, if you make a choice that lowers your energy and makes you feel more confined. The truly inspirational Martha Beck, calls this the feeling of "shackles on or shackles off".

5) Shining your best light.

In the fulfilling of this choice will you be making good use of your very best gifts and talents, those things that you find easy and enjoyable, that perhaps other people don't find so easy.

6) Will it contribute?

Does it serve more than just you? Will the fulfillment of this choice enable you to contribute, give back and make a difference in whatever small but meaningful way?

7) The green light guarantee

If you could guarantee that you would be successful at it (whatever success means for you), would you begin it immediately? A resounding yes to this question will tell you that it most likely aligns with your values. If you're still reticent it may not be right for you, or it may be you're misreading the fear signals or need a little more information before diving right in.

Look to this day

I was joined on my Realisation Walk last night by my lovely friend and colleague Joanne Sumner. On our profound journey through the park we explored all manner of things including life, love, work, authenticity and personal power.

What we kept coming back to was how vital and powerful it is to be in the present and how essential it is to be grounded in our bodies and not let the clutter of mental baggage get in the way of us truly experiencing life.

The following is an Ancient Sankrit poem that Mike and I have on our bathroom mirror as a very simple reminder of the power of being present.

So in honour of Jo and all other powerful lights for change in this world here is the poem to ponder.

Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life
In it's brief course lie all
The realities and truths of existence
The joy of growth
The splendour of action
The glory of power
For yesterday is but a memory
And tomorrow
Is only a vision
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday a memory of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well, therefore, to this day!

Living and working Authentically

I was blessed to attend a coaching circle with one of my heros last night, Nick Williams author of "The work we were born to do". I learnt so much and was so inspired that I think i've got material for a years worth of blogs and newsletters!

One of the reasons I have so much respect for Nick is that he is so refreshingly honest. I aspire to have his level of authenticity in work and life. He has a gentle style and has a way of very powerfully moving people without too much song and dance, just speaking from the heart to the heart, in a way that really connects.

Real connection is something that is so vital to our life and work and a topic that fascinates me. How is it that we can really connect as people? The key for me, beautifully demonstrated by Nick, is to be wholly authentic.

For some, authenticity might mean let it all hang out, wear your heart on your sleeve, speak your truth. For me sometimes these things and a whole lot more besides – which no doubt I’ll write about again soon.

I’m curious to know what authenticity means to you and how you go about being authentic in the everyday. Do comment on this blog or email me and let me know.

Life out of control?

Simple steps to reclaim your life and take your power back
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Carpe Diem
You've probably noticed this morning that the sun isn't shining as gloriously as it was yesterday - well not in West London at least. Has that already affected your mood? Well it's not raining, so maybe not. But how often can early morning events shape our day?
Stop! Choose to live more consciously and choose your day upon waking. Decide the purpose or intent behind your day. Make a conscious choice to conduct yourself how you wish to be, and forgive yourself when you don't quite stick to it every minute. Making a conscious choice first thing can be hugely powerful. Here are some of my favourites:
Today I will be gratitude
Today I will be go with the flow
Today I will be purposeful and directed
Today I will chill out and hang out
Today I will let love make my decisions.

Zip up
This is one of the most effective techniques for protecting your physical and emotional energy that I've ever come across. I am so grateful to the lovely Donna Eden for showing me this along with her wonderful Energy Medicine.
If you feel like you're picking up other peoples negative thought or energy or feeling drained when spending time in certain environments, it could be that your central meridian needs some strengthening. If it's weak it can leave us feeling open and exposed to picking up unwanted baggage. This meridian runs up from your pubic bone to your bottom lip. Pulling your hands up along this line like a zipper acts to strengthen it. So when you feel the need for protection perhaps your heading for the tube, the shopping centre, a difficult meeting, whatever the challenge just Zip Up, with the intention of protecting yourself and tap into your inner strength and confidence.

Leverage the power of yellow
Yellow is the colour associated most with the Solar Plexus Chakra. The life lesson of this Chakra being self esteem and self confidence and it governs personal power and self will.
Wear yellow, eat yellow, carry yellow crystals if that appeals, (citrine is traditionally good for this Chakra).
How do you know if this Chakra need attention? If you are not in your power it is very easy to slip into the role of The Drudge who depends on everyone else for approval, and hands over the responsibility for their happiness by submissiveness or dependence. A drudge will see value in what they do, not who they are. You may also find at times you get very tired, have allergies, a poor digestion are overly agressive or sensitive.

It's important when taking your power back to recognise that you are as valuable today as the day when you were born. As a baby you didn't have to do anything to earn the right to a place in the world and the same is true today. The opposite archetype to The Drudge is the Spiritual Warrior, who knows their place in the world and considers themselves worthy of it. Recognise your right to be here and affirm that right by giving yourself permission to be who you are.

Take steps to choose your future
If you feel you've been floating along for too long, make a purposeful step towards creating your new future. Take 1/2 hour out to possibility brainstorm all the things that you might like your future to hold - you could even do this with the family and create a shared vision. You might like to capture it on a vision board. If you really want to make powerful change engage a coach or mentor, someone who is living the kind of life you'd like to lead or has qualities that you'd like to integrate.

5 Minutes Meditation
Gandhi is noted to have said "I have twice as much to do today, I must meditate twice as long". He appreciated the power of mediation for centering, grounding and connecting before throwing himself into the work of the day. Sitting for hours in lotus might not be achievable for many of us, but just 5 minutes good meditation with quality breathing is all you need to quiet the mind and centre the body starting your day as you mean to go on.

If you struggle with the concept of "traditional" mediation there are so many more options these days, try a walking meditation where you focus intently on the movement of your body, your breathing and your footsteps as you enjoy a walk in nature. You might try contemplation, pick up a random book, flip to a page and read a sentence or paragraph and sit and reflect on it for a few minutes. A book I love to do this with is "A guide for the advanced soul - A book of insight" by Susan Hayward. ISBN-9590439-3-4

Watch your words
Your words create your experience, notice the phrases you repeatedly use. Are you always tired, are you always busy/broke/drowning in paperwork/never enough time/feeling overwhelmed/can't. Recognise now that although initially that may be an accurate statement of how you feel, by stating it, you are simply creating more of it in your future. Listen literally to what you say. When you slip up by making a statement about your existence that you don't want to continue into the future with the next breath correct it. Pretty soon you'll be expressing and living a new reality.

If more energy and vitality is what you'd like in your future then I still have places on the next Vitality workshop on 31st May, visit my website for more details. If you would like more support on embracing your power and purpose and living the life you choose then you are welcome to join me on my next Inspired to action workshop on 28th May, visit my website for more details