Elizabeth's For the Love of Life Blog

How heavy is a glass of water? A different perspective on stress management

 

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked; 'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued, 'And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.
'As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again...when we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested awhile.
 
Here are some great ways of reframing the burdens of life: 
 
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
 
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. 
  
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be "Recalled" by their maker.
 
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
 
* If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
 
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
 
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. 
 
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
 
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. 
 
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
 
* We could learn a lot from crayons...
 
Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
 
Some have weird names, and all are different colors,
 
but they all have to live in the same box.
 
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

 

What great quotes keep you going when life doesn't go according to plan? Do share...

Beat the winter blues

On a beautiful day like today when the sun is shining, the sky is a crisp cornflower blue and there is a fairy cake dusting of snow on the lawns and rooftops it may be hard to find much to be down about, but the long winter months can be difficult for many people. At the moment, when spring seems so far away, credit card bills form Christmas are piling up and colds and flu seem to be hanging around like a bad smell, our mood may benefit from a little lightening.

So here are just a few tips for getting your body and mind into a better state over these next few weeks of winter and there’s plenty more where these came form so let me know if you want more, or add your own by commenting on my blog.

Rise with the sun. Sunrise in winter really is a magical time. It can give you a wonderful sense of majesty and being connected to the vibrancy of life, and you don't have to get up too ridiculously early to enjoy it. More time in contact with the natural world is beneficial for our wellbeing and you don't have to be out tree hugging to get a sense of being connected to nature. Leaving a crack in the curtains so that the sun gently wakes you, is a lovely gentle entrance to the day, better than the harsh alarm on a mobile phone.

 

Get up and at em early and with purpose.Getting out of bed and getting productive early on in the day can give you an early sense of achievement (and leaves the dark evenings free for you to cosy up and hibernate a little). Better than lying in bed working yourself into a grump over the fact that it's cold and you've got to get to work etc etc. Get up, head for the kitchen and make yourself a nutritious and substantial breakfast to kick start the metabolism. Then head for the shower to rinse off the sleep followed by a few good stretches to really wake up your muscles and boost the battery. Then decide what kind of day it's going to be in just one word and affirm it to yourself a few times, out loud and in a positive tone. You may be surprised at the difference this conscious start can make to your overall performance.

 

Gaze at the moon. I read last week that the full moon we experienced this weekend is the brightest of the year (as its closest to the earth at the moment). Gazing out at the moon and sinking into its milky depths can really give you a sense of connectedness to the greater fabric of life. Wherever we are in the world we’re all looking at the same sky, it can bring loved ones closer, encourage us to dream in our lives (literally as well as metaphorically) and bring a real depth of serenity and peace. If gazing isn’t enough then one of my all time favourite things to do is a moonlit night walk. Better in the country rather than the city with less ambient light but getting out and about while the rest of the world sleeps can be truly magical.  After walking under the waxing moon for a while, emotional challenges somehow become a little clearer.  I do feel a special affinity with the moon (despite being a sun loving Leo) and if you’ve never really paid attention to it before, perhaps it’s time to start.

Be a peacock and let your colours shine. It can be all too tempting to cocoon ourselves away in blues, blacks and greys at this time of year and simply blend into the background. Colour has an amazing impact on our psyche and really can change the way you feel, not just how you look. When leafing through the wardrobe make a conscious effort to pull out those things that make you feel fabulous and add a splash of colour. You never know you may brighten someone else’s day too. If in doubt about which colours are right for you then get a colour consultation – speak to me for great recommendations. Spending a little time on yourself also works wonders.

Cut out alcohol. I cannot tell you how much difference this alone can make to your mood and ability to cope with the cold long nights. If you are in the habit of a glass or two of vino a night and can’t remember the last time you had a week without a drink, then it could really be impacting on your energy and your sleep patterns. If you can’t go cold turkey then try what Mike and I do and allow yourself a night off at the weekend when you can enjoy a glass and really make it special. Use your cut glass decanter and best wineglasses and just taste the difference!

Vits, vits and more vits. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins in your diet. B vitamins in particular are great mood enhancers. If in doubt as to whether you are getting the right balance, consult a good nutritionist - again I can very probably recommend one in your area. I won’t go into the virtues or otherwise of supplements as of course it’s personal preference but the temptation to eat comforting “stodge” at this time of year can be great and will likely leave you feeling...well...stodgy! So think before you eat. Just being a little more conscious about your food can make all the difference, especially if you are wanting to shift excess Christmas pounds.

Look to this day

I was joined on my Realisation Walk last night by my lovely friend and colleague Joanne Sumner. On our profound journey through the park we explored all manner of things including life, love, work, authenticity and personal power.

What we kept coming back to was how vital and powerful it is to be in the present and how essential it is to be grounded in our bodies and not let the clutter of mental baggage get in the way of us truly experiencing life.

The following is an Ancient Sankrit poem that Mike and I have on our bathroom mirror as a very simple reminder of the power of being present.

So in honour of Jo and all other powerful lights for change in this world here is the poem to ponder.

Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life
In it's brief course lie all
The realities and truths of existence
The joy of growth
The splendour of action
The glory of power
For yesterday is but a memory
And tomorrow
Is only a vision
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday a memory of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well, therefore, to this day!

Enemies of the state part 1

5 things that most of us do that sap our vitality and take us out of our flow.

Enemy number 1  - Dehydration
I know I keep going on about this but it really is the simplest most effective way to drain your body of vitality, drain your brain of it's capacity to function at high speed and leave your skin, and eyes looking dull and lifeless. Not drinking! Water that is. No good drinking all your water in one go either, it overloads the organs, sip little and often - especially in this weather!

Enemy number 2 - Poor diet
Want to feel lethargic and low energy in no time? Eat plenty of red meat, heavy, fatty and rich food, avoid all things fresh and colourful. Overcook your food, burn it if you can to really increase the number of free radicals. Avoid using herbs and spices particularly anything contained in Thai food. Then eat it really fast, preferably on the go with great glugs of alcohol. Keep eating past the point you are full and choose your food based on convenience rather than colour, texture taste and smell. Then finish your meal with a big cup of caffeine laden coffee. Do this every day, rather than just for the occasional "treat", with little exercise, and you'll be delighted with the sluggish results.

Enemy number 3 -Adopt the mindset that playtime is just for the kids
If you really want to sap your creativity, take yourself out of the flow then grow up!  Always do those things that adults do, consume yourself with thoughts of paying the bills, doing the housework, performing your daily "duties".

When faced with a problem deal with it rationally, sensibly involving no fun, humour or play. Whatever you do don't get out the big sheets of paper, crayons, play dough, don't make models, don't draw pictures, don't ask yourself how would a young person approach this, and under no circumstances engage a young person or ask the children for their opinion.
When you get stressed or worked up don't go and play in the park, sit on the swings or go exploring. Sit at home, preferably indoors talking sensibly or better still watching TV for distraction and keeping your feelings bottled up.
Avoid anything that reminds you of your youth, turn the volume down on the stereo, don't listen to rock music! Don't dance like no-one is watching. Don't, whatever you do, waste any time enjoying yourself when other more important things need to be done.

Enemy number 4 - Not saying no
This is a biggy, lets face it we all like to help and support those we care for, sometimes this can go too far. An inability to say no often leads to taking on too much always running around doing everything for everyone else without topping up ourselves eventually leaves us tired and worst of all resentful.
Resentment is like a seeping sickness, it poisons relationships, makes us bitter, takes the joy out of previously joyful things. You cannot serve the ones you love by resenting them. So do them and yourself a favour, say no to to those things you know you will end up resenting.
If you've taken on too much, but don't yet feel like you can say no then say yes if you have to, then delegate.

Enemy number 5 - Not saying yes
Being vital and in flow is a great deal about creating serendipity, that is creating luck out of chance occurrences. Quite often to create luck and opportunity we need to notice the synchronicity already occurring in our lives. Allow yourself to be moved by coincidence, notice random connections, pay attention to them. When an opportunity that has "spooky" significance presents itself, due to the fact that you've said no to the other less important stuff, you're in a position to say yes! Roger Hamilton calls these opportunities critical moments. Saying yes at critical moments vastly increases our energy and the degree to which we are "plugged in" to the vital fabric of the Universe.


More enemies of the state in the future, I daren't keep you at the PC away from the sunshine for much longer. If you're up for a little more inspiration or want to comment then please do.

Are you making the most of it....

For once I am talking about the weather, yes sorry to be so British, but this is az very quick hint, just in case you hadn't noticed, that the weather is absolutely gorgeous!

So if you've been wondering when summer is going to hit so you can enjoy evenings in the park, barbeques, watching the sunset with a glass of wine, pottering in the garden until late, taking a late evening stroll or early morning jog, this is it, get out there and enjoy if you're not doing so already!

And for those who celebrate it, i'm a few days late with the blog but, Happy Beltane!

The early bird and all that...

I'm writing this to urge you to experience one of the great joys in my life - the sunrise.

So often we can stumble into the day fumbling for the bedside light, sleepily pulling on the dressing gown and going through the motions before the brain kicks into gear or the (cold) shower works its magic. What I’m offering you today is a reminder to experience the stunning wonder of a new day at its very best.

There is something magical about being up early - especially in the city before the clamour of the everyday starts.

The reason i'm reminding you now as it's still not too ungodly an hour to be awake for those of you that really love the duvet.

Go on I dare you! Ease yourself into Friday morning in peace and natural splendour it will make all the difference.

Sunrise tomorrow in London is 6.28am enjoy!

Spring is here - It's time to lighten up!

Isn't it lovely when the clocks go forward? Well ok not immediately as "loosing" an hour isn't ideal, but now that we are over the struggle of Monday morning isn’t it glorious to have a longer evening?

So to welcome more light to our evenings this blog is about Lightening up - in more ways than one.

Lighten up physically.
Summer (and hopefully warmer weather) is just round the corner so I’m reminded to shed the winter pounds. Don't wait until June to lighten up physically! If you're feeling sluggish and still carrying the excess from a few too many Easter Eggs carpe diem! With lighter evenings there's no excuse for not taking a brisk walk after work to burn off a few extra calories. Just 15 minutes out and 15 minutes back will make all the difference.

Lighten the emotional load
If you’ve been feeling like work or your to do list, or your life in general is getting on top of you already this year, then you can lighten that load too. Maybe I’m a little old fashioned but Spring cleaning comes to mind. Now bear with me, you may think I’ve gone a little mad when you’ve got enough on your plate, why would you want to be dashing round with a duster? But there is method in my madness. The principle is this and it follows the law of correspondence, which in it’s simplest interpretation means “As within so without”. Our external world (the environment, people etc) is a reflection of our inner world. If you want to feel clearer, less burdened, with less emotional “baggage”, it makes sense to clear out the physical stuff. 

Where to start
You don’t have to do it all at once. I would recommend starting in the bedroom after all you spend a great deal of time there and to get the most of your day it’s worth getting a good nights sleep.

Start by clearing the surfaces, especially anything dumped on top of cupboards or wardrobes or under the bed. Bag it, bin it, dust it, take it to charity, whatever you need to do to create a clear and tranquil space do it. Then if you’re feeling inspired you can move onto the wardrobes and drawers. With new spring fashions in the shops, it’s a great time to clear out clothes and send them to the charity shop.

When I’ve finished a good spring clean I open the windows in the room in question, burn some lovely refreshing essential oil such as lemon, rosemary or bergamot and spend a few moment in the clean and clear space setting my intent for it. It really lightens up stagnant energy and you’ll be amazed at the difference it can make to the feel of your home.

Lighten up your work.
What can you do to bring more fun to your work?
One of my faves it to wear slipper to the office. I’ve got big pink fluffy monster feet slippers so it makes me feel slightly ridiculous wearing them to do my accounts – perfect!
Install juggling balls, where I used to work, whenever we needed a boost of energy or creativity we would juggle – albeit badly – so my juggling balls have come with me.

Lighten up your colour pallet
Colour psychology is hugely powerful. There’s no need to keep yourself in muted autumn hues, or the stark black of winter – make a statement, lift your mood and your wardrobe with an injection of fabulous colour and notice what a difference it makes to your outlook.

Lighten up yourself
My final thought is perhaps the most applicable to all of us – whatever we do. I was reminded the other day about a fabulous book I read some years ago "The Art of Possibility" by Benjamin Zander. I can highly recommend it not least for Rule number 6. Read the book and you'll know what I mean.

What's the cost of a glass of wine?

A question that Mike and I have been pondering for a while now, given our love of good red wine and entertaining. After a lovely evening with friends last night and an, albeit fairly moderate, intake of alcohol the question presents itself again more strongly this morning and i'm not talking about the financial implications of the latest tax increase.

After abstaining from our beloved grape juice, for some weeks, we could affectionately be described now as "a cheap date". One glass of wine really is enough before our bodies start reeling from the toxic effects.

I'm sure with careful deliberation we shall successfully be able to raise our tolerance level as i'm not quite ready to lead a wine free life yet.

But it does beg the questions doesn't it....?

What is your body telling you?

As those of you who know me will appreciate, I’m a firm believer in utilising your body's wisdom for better health and vitality. In simple terms your body is a wonderful feedback mechanism for what's going on in your life it will tell you, without too much soul (or body) searching, a wealth of information.

The end of Friday can often bring relief from a busy and hectic week, I know for me this week in particular has involved later nights than usual and much less down time. As a result my body is already telling me that I need to redress the balance.

What is your body telling you?

Have you had your fair share of colds this winter already? If your immune system isn't fighting off those nasty's without the associated symptoms, then maybe a little more time out to care for yourself is needed.

What is your skin telling you? too much sugar? not enough water? not enough exercise? If it's not glowing and supple then how can you bring it back into it's natural state of vitality?

Aching shoulders and back, stiff neck and muscles are all too common symptoms of stress, burden and resisting the natural flow of life – tend to your body’s needs don’t just put up with it.

Perhaps spend a little more time paying attention to your body today and gain some valuable information about the state of your health and your life.  And if you body is giving you the warning signals to slow down, then listen to the good advice, before it stops you completely and your laid up!

Take care of yourselves, warmest wishes

Elizabeth

x

Burning the midnight oil?...

It's not usually that you would find me blogging at 11ocklock at night, but the long drive home from the college in Hampshire I teach at on a Wednesday afforded me some thinking time.

Feeling the need to wind down after my drive, I thought I’d take the opportunity to offer some tips for more restful sleep.

I think many of us have become far too tolerant of nights of poor sleep leading to mornings of low energy and it really doesn't (and shouldn't) have to be that way. In my last email newsletter I offered some tips on increasing everyday vitality, one of those being get to bed before 10pm as often as possible. (The irony strikes me as I look at the clock.)

So for any of you burning the midnight oil, here's a little list to ponder:

1.  Bedrooms are for sleeping and not a lot else (save romantic liaisons of course). Remove the T.V, the phone, the computer, and any other clutter for that matter. The electromagnetic fields these devices create can go a long way to disturbing our sleep patterns. Not to mention the assault on our poor adrenal glands if we watch a good action movie before hitting the hay.

2. Write n Rip. This is a technique I use for many things and it can be particularly helpful to clear the mind before bed. If you find your mind is consumed with thoughts or worry, particularly things that you feel unable to express to another person, it can be very helpful to engage in a stream of consciousness writing exercise. Simply put pen to paper and start writing and don't stop until you've got nothing else to say. Try not to think about it, just let the pen flow. You will probably be surprised a just how much your subconscious mind can throw out there. The simply rip it up and bin it. It's a great way of clearing the mind of anxiety and can be very cathartic.

3. Write your to do list for the next day before retiring, That way you don't have to occupy your mind trying to remember all those jobs and things you need to get done. Get it out on paper and give yourself permission to forget about it, knowing that it's taken care of until the morning.

4. As you relax in bed, place one hand gently on your forehead and the other just below your belly button on your Hara. This is a sedating posture and will help calm the CNS and induce a gentle state of relaxation. This can be used on children who have difficulty settling as they often find it very comfortable to be held in this way.

5. Count. Not necessarily sheep, try counting 9 breaths. Each time you breathe out count, take your time breathing, stay focussed on your breath and the number and you will soon find that the other internal chatter dies away and you gently drift off. If you find you're particularly uptight ad loose count before you get to 9, just start again.

6. Use colour and scent. The colour purple and lilac are very restful. Consider changing your bed linen, pj's or wall colourings for restful muted colours. Particularly if you've gone for decor of hot pink, reds or, heaven forbid, primary colours! Scent can be very soporific too, particularly lavender essential oil. You don't necessarily have to invest in oil burners (best avoid naked flames at bed time), simply put a few drops of essential oil onto a hanky and pop under your pillow (be aware the oil may stain). Or if you have a radiator in your room, put a cotton wool ball on top soaked in a few drops and the heat will infuse the air with a wonderful calming scent.

7. Having mentioned radiators that brings me to my last point for this evening before turning in. Sleep in a cool room. If we are too hot at night our sleep can be disturbed. If opening a window causes a draft and risk of stiff muscles and aches in the morning then consider investing in a lighter tog duvet or sheets (preferably pure cotton) and turning the radiators down a touch.

Sleep well!

Elizabeth